Waiting for Hope

(**Note: This blogpost was originally published last December, but I am sharing it again with a few revisions as we finish up the first week of Advent. In a year like 2020, it seems we can all use a little more hope!)

Hope.

That is the word God has been whispering to my heart this week.

It has been in my devotional readings everyday. It has popped up in several Facebook posts. It was the theme running through our Midweek service. It was even written in glowing Christmas lights on my neighbor’s yard when I drove home last night! (I’m not kidding…talk about a sign!)

We just completed the first week of Advent in the Christian calendar, and the focus for this week was—you guessed it— hope.

As I think back on the beginning of the Christmas story, I am reminded that God’s people had been waiting for what must have seemed like forever for the promised Messiah to appear. Hundreds of years had gone by since the prophets proclaimed God’s message of the One who was to come. Their land had been torn apart by savages, their government overthrown, their people scattered among the nations. So much time had gone by that the stories of old were just that… ancient stories, passed down through generations, of a time long before when God had favored their people. 

But it was clear that God must have changed His mind and turned His back on them. 

Their great-great-great-great (you get it) grandparents had let Him down one too many times, trading long-term loyalty for a fast-food faith, and they were left living the repercussions. Sure, even in the midst of their betrayal, the Father had promised the Messiah, the One who would change everything. How they longed for Him to come! 

But that was a long time ago… 

Perhaps they forgot what it was like to hope.

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 Jeff and I were married for 5 years before we had our oldest daughter, Sarah. We spent three of those years trying to have a baby. At first, we waited patiently, trusting in God’s timing and continuing on with life as usual. After awhile, though, we knew something wasn’t right. We read all the articles, counted the days on the calendar, met with the doctors, ran all the tests. It was in God’s hands, we knew; still, our hearts broke a little with every negative test result.

At the same time, it seemed like every other young couple in our social circle chose that moment to start having babies. I remember buying hooded bath towels and lavender bath wash, smiling through all the baby showers and joking about not drinking the water, only to hide my tears in the bathroom where no one could see.  

The days turned into weeks, which turned into months, which turned into years

remember what it was like to long for someone I wasn’t sure would ever come. 

I, too, almost forgot how to hope.

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But then one day, out of the blue, when everyone was just going about their business as usual, an angel appeared to a teenage girl, and the message he delivered breathed HOPE back into the world once again! God had heard His people and He would no longer turn away. It was time. There would be a baby!

Wait, a baby? 

Yes. That baby changed everything.

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Our baby changed everything too. I was so in shock when the test was positive, I ran straight to Jeff’s study and handed him the pee stick.  No cute t-shirt or video announcement for us! No, we just sat cross-legged on the kitchen floor and cried at God’s faithfulness. We were so busy having faith that we hadn’t even realized we had lost hope, until suddenly our hearts were flooded with it once again!

I think I took at least four more tests after that just to be sure. It’s amazing what a little hope can do! God could have chosen to answer our prayer in a different way, and that would have been okay. Truly. Our hope came in the form of two lines on a stick that day, but ultimately our hope came in the promise fulfilled all those years ago, when Love chose to put on skin and dwell among us. Emmanuel. God with us! We are not alone.

That is our hope

And so, as we journey through this season of Advent, I want to remember what it was like to wait so long that I almost lost hope, to be afraid to be expectant after so much disappointment. I have been there. Some of you are still there, I know. 2020 has wreaked havoc on our ability to hope!

“But we cannot lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” -2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Friends, we must remember God’s unfailing faithfulness…

A Promise made.

A Baby given.

A Savior sent.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.” -Hebrews 10:23

“For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.” –Romans 15:4

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” –Romans 15:13

Let us remember… and hope. 

Dancing in the Waiting

I took my boys for their much overdue annual check-ups today. As is the case with most doctor appointments, we found ourselves seated in the waiting area for a good 15 minutes before the nurse called their names.

What do you do with two rambunctious, energetic boys in a waiting room?

Well, let’s see. We played “sticks,” a math game using our fingers, and then played One-Potato-Two-Potato with our feet. After that, Eli dared Noah to stand in the middle of the waiting room and dance in front of everyone. Noah is not one to turn down a dare, so up he went, shaking his bootie for all the world to see. Giggles abounded, and a second dare was quickly issued. Before long, the nurses were peaking around the appointment desk, offering suggestions on different dance moves and clapping along to his songs. We were having so much fun, we almost forgot we were waiting!

Looking back, I feel like I have spent much of my life waiting.

In middle school and high school, I was waiting to be popular (ugh) or waiting for a certain boy to like me (double ugh). Then I was waiting for the Lord to show me which college to go to and what my major should be. There were several years of waiting on the Lord about my future husband- was there someone out there for me? How would I know when I found him? Was this the one for me, or was there someone else?

“Wait on the Lord. Be strong and take heart and wait on the Lord.” Ps. 27:14

So much waiting…

After I married Jeff, we waited on the Lord to direct our path. We waited on Him to show us where to start a church, and then we waited on Him to bring people to our church. And that whole time we were waiting for Him to give us a baby (you can read that story here). 

Once those prayers were answered, there were other things to wait on.

We waited on the Lord to show us the right time to move on and where to go next. We waited on friendships and guidance and more babies. We waited on answers about our calling and the best way to school our children. We waited for the Lord to give us a church home, and spent three years doing family church before He gave us an answer. We waited for ministry opportunities. We waited for the right time to get a new puppy. We waited for wisdom in parenting and wisdom in our marriage and wisdom for life.

We have waited and waited and waited.

But we have also lived.

Yes, the waiting often overwhelmed me to where I couldn’t think about much else. But if the waiting lasted long enough, living was inevitable. I had to do something- I couldn’t just sit around and wait.  

Somewhere along the way, I learned that waiting is more than just sitting.

It is an active verb, not passive.

It was friends living life with me and helping shape my character so I was ready when I found “the One.”

It was story after story of God’s faithfulness in our family and in our church, things only He could do, drawing our hearts to Him, even as we waited. 

 It is Noah dancing in the waiting room, making the most of the “in between” time.

Do I dance in the in between?

Waiting shouldn’t be about focusing so much on what I’m waiting for that I miss what is all around me. No, the Psalmist encourages us to “Wait on the Lord. Be strong and take heart and wait on the Lord. 

God is at work all around us! When I fix my eyes on Jesus instead of whatever I’m waiting on, my perspective shifts. 

When I remind myself of His truths, I am able to release my fear and embrace His peace. Don’t get me wrong; waiting on the Lord is still terribly hard, but it is no longer overwhelming or isolating or paralyzing. 

It transforms waiting into something different. 

It is breathing. 

It is looking outside of my situation.

It is pressing into Jesus and doing the next thing. 

It is embracing the present because I trust Him in the waiting. 

Will we trust Him in the waiting? Will we look for Him in the “in between”? Will we miss the gifts He offers because they are not the ones we are waiting for? Or will we get up out of our chairs, fix our eyes on Jesus, and find a way to dance as we wait on the Lord?

Lord, I trust You in my waiting. Help me dance in the in between.

Waiting for Perfect

Writing Challenge Day 3

I have had moments all through the day today when I could have made time to write. I didn’t though; I wasn’t ready. I kept tossing around different ideas in my head, waiting to see which one would stick. I could be practical and write about the details of how I will accomplish my writing challenge each day. I could be productive and work on my travel blog from this summer. I could be inspirational and write about how the power of our words is simply a reflection of Jesus, The Word made flesh. Or I could just write about how much I absolutely adore teenagers.

So many thoughts elbowing their way through my mind, fighting to be the one I choose. 

But I can’t choose.

Which topic is the right one? Which one is going to make a difference in the world? Which one needs to be heard by someone today? Oh good grief, woman. Just sit down and write!

I wonder how much of our lives we spend waiting for perfect. The perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect church, the perfect spouse, the perfect kid, the perfect friend, the perfect body… always waiting and never quite finding what we’re looking for. How many books are left unwritten and songs are left unsung, waiting for perfect? How many things get lost on the road of good intentions, waiting for perfect, and never find their way to completion? 

Perhaps it’s time to embrace where we are, to be thankful for what’s been given instead of waiting for what hasn’t. Maybe it’s time to alter our expectations and accept that just living this life is enough; that apart from Jesus, there is no such thing as perfect. There is just the next thing, done with purpose and intention, or at the very least, a sense of duty. And that’s enough. Perhaps it’s time to just sit down and write.

So there is no perfect topic for today, no life-changing content desperate to be read.  There is a new advent calendar hanging on the window, the names of Jesus waiting to be flipped over and discussed. A completed math assignment is lying on the counter after creating quite the conversation on Facebook (Are you smarter than a 6th grader?). There is an updated rehearsal schedule ready to be emailed out to parents and a pile of dishes waiting to be washed. The puppy is stretched out on the rug in front of the fireplace, and the children are tucked in under their covers upstairs. My honey is calling me to come downstairs so we can watch our show, and I tell him I’ll be there in a minute. 

I have 50 more words to write.

But after all this, am I really going to miss out on what’s most important because I’m waiting for perfect? 

I think 485 is close enough.

Coming, hon!