Pandemic Roots: Are Your True Colors Showing?

Well, friends, we’ve reached that point in the pandemic in which our true colors are beginning to show… 

It’s a little embarrassing.

It turns out some of us are not quite the shimmering blondes (or brunettes) people thought we were. Others of us are perhaps a little, well, grayer than we appeared in March. Let’s just say there are definitely no “Pantene commercial locks” flipping around our shoulders right now! 

As the days turn into weeks, and the weeks turn into months, there is a steady demarcation line working its way down our scalp, slowly revealing our true colors to the world. 

And y’all, these roots aren’t pretty.

If you’re like me, you might be hiding them under a hat or pulling your hair into a ponytail, hoping no one will notice. I’ve even been spending time outside, hoping the sun will lighten them up a little and make them blend in better. 

Are you having any luck?

Yeah, me neither.

Or maybe you’re like some of my friends who have decided to take this opportunity to boldly show their true selves to the world. Instead of covering up those roots, they are putting them on display, vowing to no longer conform to societal beauty standards, but to be their own person, gray hair and all! 

I admire them, I really do. 

But it turns out I’m not that brave.

Maybe if I had that real pretty silvery gray hair, I would consider it, but I don’t. No, my roots are kind of a muddy-blonde-infused-with-clumps-of-mousey-gray color. I’m not sure they even sell shades like this in a bottle, because it is not exactly the look people are clamoring for. 

“Ladies, spread a little ‘dirt gray’ on your hair and get that ‘still-stuck-in-quarantine look’ in no time!”

Yeah, not really a hot seller.

I have never really considered myself a vain person. I mean, I barely wear make-up, I detest clothes shopping, and my boys think I’m dressing “fancy” when I put on a pair of jeans. So it has kind of surprised me to realize how much it bothers me to have other people noticing my roots. And they are noticing! 

Which got me thinking…

I’ve realized the longer we remain enclosed together within the boundaries of our home, my hair is not the only thing showing its true colors

It’s definitely easier to point it out in those around me, but it’s been happening enough now that I can’t deny what is evident in my own heart. Some of the “roots” growing out of me during this unusual, uncomfortable time, like my hair, are also not so pretty. 

Selfishness. Laziness. Impatience. Gluttony.

And I am not the only one. This break from our normal routine is revealing many of our heart-roots: 

As a nation, we have seen hoarding and arguing, disagreements and name-calling, all over things as silly as toilet paper.  We have found ourselves resistant to surrendering our individual “rights” for the well-being of others. We have found a way to make even a virus political, opting for divisiveness and slander when there are such great opportunities for generosity and compassion.

Our “busy-ness” has been stripped away, and we have found not just empty schedules, but also empty hearts, revealing idols we didn’t even know we had. We miss our entertainment… perhaps we hadn’t realized until it disappeared just how much time and money we spend on those “extra” things.

Families are gathered around the dinner table every night, which is unusual in many homes. We have been given the gift of time together, and yet, often we find ourselves choosing the numbing comfort of the digital world over investing in our spouses, our children.  It’s just easier; after all, Netflix doesn’t talk back, and our Facebook friends like everything we say!

Misdirected worship. Laziness. Selfishness. Pride. 

Thankfully, these traits are sneaking out only at the roots- most of our lives are dominated by our better virtues. Someone must look closely to see these unsightly “grays”. However, the more time that passes, the more these traits become evident…

Unless we do something about them.

Just like with my hair, my initial instinct is to hide them. Cover them up, pretend they’re not there, and no one will notice, right? Only, roots have a way of continuing to grow until they can no longer be hidden.

Then what?

Well, I could just accept that they reveal who I really I am inside, and put them on display for everyone to see. After all, if this is the real me, I should be okay with that and so should you, right? This is just the way God made me. 

But it isn’t really. I know that, and so do you. 

While I am all for being genuine, there is no value in pursuing the worst version of myself. Just because the roots are there doesn’t mean that is all that’s there. 

Do we let weeds continue to grow in a garden? If so, after awhile they will choke out the real plants and take over the entire space. But  the weeds weren’t planted there by the gardener. So, when people look at the garden, they aren’t actually seeing a true reflection of what the garden was intended to be, but something it became on its own.

I don’t want to hide my roots, but I also don’t want to wear them proudly, embracing a tainted version of myself. So then, what’s a girl to do?

When I go to the hair salon, I ask my stylist to help me be the best version of myself. I don’t want to leave looking exactly the same, nor do I want to look totally different. I still want to be me- just better! So she looks at my hair, my skin, and my roots. She points out the mousey grays (thanks for that) and the uneven bangs, and then she begins to work her magic. Somehow she is able to blend them all together, adding highlights and shades of my real hair color, transforming it into something new.

Something real. Still me, but better. 

So I find myself bringing these heart-roots to Jesus. I don’t want to ignore them, and I don’t want to embrace them. I want to name them, learn from them, and then allow Him to transform them. By adding Light and Truth, He can blend impulsiveness into boldness and change greed into generosity. He can add shades of patience and kindness and humility, transforming my whole character into something better. 

Still real, still me, but better.

More like Jesus.

Let’s Celebrate Easter Like Never Before. Oh, wait…

Friends, it finally dawned on our kids last weekend that we would not be able to go to church this Sunday. 

“Wait, you mean we’ll be stuck at home on EASTER SUNDAY?? Mom, it won’t be Easter if we’re not at church! That’s never happened before! This is not okay. We have to do something…”

If you know me well, you can imagine how excited I was about seizing this teachable moment. My girls say I have a “small group leader voice” that I use in moments like this…  umm, whatever. But if I do, I’m sure I pulled it out for this one!

“Well, guys,” I said (probably in my SGL voice), “that’s not exactly true. What are we really celebrating on Easter? Think back to what happened that first Easter morning…”

  • Where do we find the disciples? (hint: They weren’t at the temple, where they?)
  • Where do we find Mary? (hint again: Sshh! She wasn’t at the temple either.)
  • And where do we find Jesus? (okay, so they got the point!)

The reality is we have never had a better opportunity to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus more authentically than this year. After all, the first Easter happened outside in a garden and inside a living room and wherever else people happened to be when they heard the good news. The life-changing news.

“I have seen the Lord!”

Do you remember what it was like the first time you saw the Lord?

I mean, when you truly realized what Jesus had done for you- that He loved you enough to die for you, suffered unspeakable pain and loss for you- and not because you and I were worthy, but because we are worth it to Him?

I was a teenager when someone shared with me that I wasn’t here by accident; that God created me and loved me and had a purpose for my life. For the first time I began to understand how much Jesus willingly went through for me and what it cost Him. It still overwhelms me to think anyone could love me that much!

And then I found out the rest of the story… He is alive! He rose from the dead, appeared to a bunch of people, and went up to heaven, leaving His Holy Spirit here to live within us and guide us. Wow. 

He didn’t just love us in the past, but He loves us now, and He wants to love us forever!

That’s pretty good news! And it changed me.

Friends, have you seen the Lord? I mean, really seen Him? Have you seen Him working in your life, changing your heart, guiding you in wisdom, transforming your perspective, bringing beauty from ashes? When you do, it changes everything.

He changes everything.

So this Easter, as we gather in our homes with our children, let’s make the most of this opportunity to tell them the Good news. Let’s not just read them a story from a Book (although we should!), but also share the truth of a God who is alive today, who loves them unconditionally and is active in their life. Let’s help them connect the dots between His story and their story, so they too can tell others, “ I have seen the Lord!”

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Easter 2012

In case you’re looking for some ideas, here are a few things the Heath Fam is planning to do over the next few days to celebrate Easter and Holy Week at home:

(Btw, you should know I always have A LOT of ideas… and we usually only do about 20% of them! But I figure 20% is better than 0%, right? #winning)

  • Talk about what was important enough for Jesus to do and say in His last week of life.
  • Thursday morning: Read/discuss how Jesus washed the disciples feet (John 13:3-17) and think of ways our family can serve others, then do it- make cards, give to the Food Pantry, etc.
  • Thursday evening: Remember why they were celebrating Passover Feast (read about Moses and the plagues from a Children’s Bible or watch The Prince of Egypt) and make the connection between Passover & Easter, then read Mark 14:12-26 and take Holy Communion together. Maybe take the kids outside to pray, as Jesus did, for God’s Will to be done here on earth, even when it comes at great cost to us.
  • Friday evening: Recount the events following the Last Supper leading up to Jesus’ death. Maybe watch a reenactment from a Jesus movie? We are hoping to do an informal Good Friday service with our kids using readings from the events preceding the crucifixion and Jesus’ last words from the cross. If we do, I’ll try to video it and share it on Facebook in case it’s helpful to some of you. *Editing to add a link to an on-line Good Friday Service with Chris Tomlin and Max Lucado!
  • Saturday: Discuss how sometimes God is silent and it feels like He’s not working, but it’s only because we can’t see what is happening behind the scenes…
  • Sunday: Time to celebrate!! Lots of ideas:
  • Wake the kids up with some jammin’ praise music!
  • Read about that first Easter morning when Jesus appeared to His friends. 
  • Worship online with our church family (First Redeemer) and… possibly have a cul-de-sac worship service with everyone in their own driveways.
  • For littles, use Resurrection Eggs or make resurrection rolls. 
  • Download The Chosen series and/or watch the Jesus movie from Sights & Sounds theatre.

Your celebration can be simple or extravagant; do whatever works for your family. And feel free to share more ideas in the comments! But don’t miss this opportunity to celebrate Easter like never before. Oh wait…

Palm Sunday Reflections

Where was I as You entered the city?

Was I walking near You 

while the people shouted Your name?

Was I leading the donkey 

or walking beside You,

Feeling important

because those who had gathered

finally knew who You really were?

This was what we’d been waiting for!

“Hail King Jesus, Son of David!”

Or was I in the crowd

among those who were cheering,

Swept up in the excitement,

the emotion of the day?

I think He’s the one…” we whispered,

laying our cloaks down before You,

recalling the rumors, the stories, the hope…

Hosanna! Hosanna! 

Blessed is He who comes in the Name of the Lord!

We waved our branches and sang Your praise,

and then…

went on our way.

Or perhaps I was standing apart from the crowd,

wearing my robe of importance,

hiding my envy beneath a veil of self righteousness

Unwilling to bow and quick to accuse.

Teacher, rebuke them!” 

I said condescendingly,

threatened by how Your humble sovereignty

revealed my arrogant soul.

You looked at me and laughed, 

knowing nothing could silence Creation’s praise 

in the Presence of the Creator!

Lord, if I’m honest, I see myself in each of them:

The sincere, yet self-seeking, destined to flee disciple

The self-serving, easily swayed crowd

The self-righteous, “better than thou” Pharisee…

Oh, forgive me, Jesus!

Rid me of all these “selves”

which might hinder me 

from recognizing, revering, and remaining with You.

Make me willing to lay down my life

and take up my cross

to follow You.

“Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.'” -Matthew 16:24 (NIV)

Ode to the Science Fair

It is the year 2020. The coronavirus has taken over the world.

School is cancelled. Church is cancelled. Birthday parties and weddings and doctor appointments- all cancelled.

You know what isn’t cancelled?

Science Fair Projects.

Yep, some of you are out there scrounging for toilet paper, but not us! No, the Heath Fam is over here scrounging up construction paper and taping together poster board. While you are loading your cart with chicken breasts and Clorox wipes, ours is filled with an assortment of baby foods, citrus fruits, jellybeans, spinach leaves, and baking soda. 

Did you send your husband to the hardware store to buy materials for all the home improvement projects you plan to do while you’re under quarantine? Awesome! I sent mine there, too- to purchase three varieties of light bulbs in order to simulate the process of photosynthesis on the above mentioned spinach leaves. 

And you want to make masks for the doctors and nurses at your local hospital? I love that idea! Bless you. Hey, when you stop by JoAnn’s to pick up your fabric, would you mind grabbing me some markers and tape and a bandana we can use for a blindfold? (The display board is worth 30 points after all!)

Oh, I saw that sweet video you posted of your daughter’s sidewalk art and your son’s new song! Did he really teach himself to play the guitar in 3 days from a YouTube video? What a gift to have enough free time to be creative. 

We have actually spent a lot of free time being creative around here, too! It only took us two hours to design an “easel” that could hold the appropriate sized tri-fold board in proper view of the computer for a Zoom presentation. The lighting was a little trickier, but hey- what a great opportunity to learn a new life skill! And on top of that, I have a whole slew of innovative new words to describe my feelings about the Science Fair! But I probably shouldn’t share those here…

So, friends, you go ahead and enjoy binge-watching on Netflix and making creative meals out of your freezer. Be sure to practice “social distancing” with your neighbors and enjoy the great outdoors. Get take-out from a local restaurant and plan a family game night; make the most of this time, for sure! 

Don’t mind us. 

We’ll just be over here working on our Science Fair Projects.

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(Now, y’all don’t go hating on our teachers or our school… we love them and really do understand their decision to continue on with the Science Fair projects! I just personally happen to HATE the Science Fair, and couldn’t miss the opportunity to seize the irony that out of all the things that have been cancelled, THIS could not be one of them! LOL! Oh well, such is life. We are finished, actually; and we have had plenty of time for family game nights and baking cookies along the way, I promise!)

So You’re Suddenly a Homeschooler… Tips for Surviving (and maybe even thriving!) During the Quarantine

I wish I had a dollar for everyone who has said to me, “Oh, I could never homeschool my kids. I don’t have the patience!” or “I couldn’t do that; I would kill my kids!” The truth is, NO ONE has the patience to homeschool, and all of us get frustrated with our children!

Most of you know we have four children whom we have homeschooled or hybrid-schooled for the past 10 years. What I learned during our early years was that homeschooling was about way more than learning and teaching educational information. It was about learning how to communicate and how to resolve conflict. It required listening and observing more than I talked, and recognizing (and admitting) when my children were right and I was wrong. It involved planning and being flexible and embracing the opportunity for my kids to be bored, which often led to great creativity.

There have definitely been a lot of struggles along the way- raised voices, tears, an occasional slammed door- but there has also been great joy and bonding when we worked through challenges and found a solution together. I believe parenting our girls’ in their teen years has been easier and much more enjoyable because of the patterns we all learned and the relationships we built during those years. And I’m hopeful the same will be true with our boys.

But chances are, that is not your story…

If you are reading this, it is likely because life as we know it has changed drastically in the past week, and you suddenly find yourself at home with your children. In addition to being their parent, you now also bear the responsibility of being their teacher for a few weeks (or more), and it’s not something you chose.  I imagine these first few days have been bumpy as teachers, parents, and students all try to navigate the shift to “on-line” learning.  

And on top of teaching subjects you have not studied yourself in decades, you also have the added bonus of enforcing that work gets done AND filling up all the free-time that comes along with cancelled activities and “social distancing.” Hooray! 

This is totally what you signed up for, right? 

Sigh.

But don’t lose heart, friend! Believe it or not, this time is a gift, frustrations and all. We will talk about this quarantine for years to come, and right now is when we get to choose how we will spend it. What do you want your kids to remember about this global pandemic? Fear and frustration? Or love and laughter? I am choosing to embrace this gift of time together (you can read about that here), and I encourage you to do the same.

I know, I know… that is easier said than done; and not just at your house, but at mine as well.  So here are a few tips I have learned during our homeschooling years that might help you not only survive your sudden schooling-at-home status, but hopefully even embrace it. 

Lower your expectations

Whether you are a working parent who is trying to put in a full day of work at home while homeschooling your kids or a stay at home parent who has a list of all the home projects you want to accomplish now that you have no where to go (like me), just stop. It’s not going to happen, at least not at the level you’re hoping. One of the biggest frustrations I face as a homeschooling mom is expecting to be productive myself during a homeschool day. The reality is that being a teacher is my JOB… and for the next several weeks, it is your job, too. And that means that several hours of our day will need to be spent teaching, or at least supervising, the educational activities of our kids. I cannot stress this enough!

It is not fair to our kids to expect them to school themselves, and it is not fair to ourselves to expect that we can do more than one job at a time. So for this small window of time (and really, while it may be a huge inconvenience right now, in the grand scheme, it truly is a small window), lower your expectations and allow yourself to feel like a success if, at the end of the day, most of their school work has been completed and your people have been fed.  And yes, cereal totally counts. 

Create a Routine

Even if you are a creative, free-spirited individual, a routine is going to help you in this season. And if you are a schedule-oriented person, understanding the flexibility of a routine will help you as well. My dear friend and homeschooling mentor, Tina Jobe, shared the following advice in a Facebook post, explaining the difference between a routine and a schedule:  

A schedule is rigid. Each time has a purpose. A routine means you do things in a certain order, but times are not assigned. Routine means if you start an hour late, it’s ok. Something else gives… If you are enjoying a read-aloud and the kids don’t want to stop listening, keep reading. Just jump back into your routine after lunch.”

Your kids are used to having a specific order to their day at school. Creating a similar routine at home- adjusted for your own circumstances and priorities- will add some consistency to their days and will help all of you know how to plan. We generally start with one or two quick and easy subjects and then tackle their hardest/longest subject, and alternate from there. Figure out what works for you and do it.

Build in time for what you need to do 

I know, I told you to lower your expectations, and you should! Go ahead and lower them again while you’re at it! But let’s be real… there are also things we have to do. The laundry and dishes need to get done, bills need to be paid, dinner needs to find its way into the crockpot, those of you with a job need to accomplish something to keep the paycheck coming in, and who are we kidding- we all need a few minutes to hide in the closet and stuff our face with chocolate!

Here’s how I attempt to make that happen (especially the chocolate part): Before I go to bed, I make a list of what I need to get done the next day. Then, true to my first tip, I try to cross off half the list. Next, I look at our normal routine and figure out the best windows of time to fit those things in. For me, that might look like starting a load of laundry as soon as I get up and then having my God Time while the kids are eating breakfast. I figure out which subjects they can do fairly independently and have them do those while I clean up the breakfast dishes, answer emails, swap the laundry, etc. We spend a few hours of concentrated schooling time (our girls are in high school, so they work independently for the most part, but my boys still need quite a bit of help). For me, this works best if I just sit between them and bounce back and forth between them as needed. If I know I need to spend concentrated time with one, I try to get the other one started on a subject they can finish without me.

Generally, for middle school and below we are finished with schoolwork by lunchtime which leaves the afternoon somewhat free. But in order for that to happen, we have to…

Start Early

One of the blessings of homeschooling is that you get to set your start time, and it doesn’t have to be when it’s still dark outside! Absolutely let your kids sleep in a little bit if you want! But almost all of my homeschooling friends agree that our kids are most productive in the morning. An assignment that takes us 30 minutes in the morning may take us two hours in the afternoon; I guess their brains get tired? I don’t know, but it’s definitely a thing. So keep that in mind when you create your routine. If you are working from home, you may be able to get a couple hours of work done in the morning before they start school, or you may want to get them started early so you have the afternoon free. Do what works for you! But don’t let them waste those morning hours, especially if you find schoolwork is taking All. Day. Long. 

Let them be bored

This goes against the very fiber of our over-scheduled society, I know, but it is one of the best parts of homeschooling… and also the hardest. Chances are, many of you have realized this week that schoolwork doesn’t actually take all day and you are wondering WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THE REST OF THAT TIME?! The answer, simply, is to let them be bored. Kids need time and space in order to create things, so letting them actually be bored for a change is a gift! Who knows what will happen when they are given time to explore a new interest or develop a hobby?

Just don’t let them tell you they’re bored. My friend, Tina, also mentioned this tip in her Facebook post, and her now college-age daughter replied in the comments, “ ‘I’m bored’ was not allowed… if we said it, we’d be put to work cleaning!” She went on to mention the secret form of communication they used in order to sneak outside and play to avoid having to do chores. I love it!!  That’s another tip: Cleaning is definitely the best antidote for boredom. Keep a list handy of cleaning jobs to assign when someone complains of boredom (wipe down baseboards, wash windows and mirrors, clean toilets and tubs, sweep the floor, clean out a drawer- many of these can be done even by preschool age children!).  You will find that phrase disappears quickly, and they will come up with all kinds of creative messes all by themselves!

Brainstorm activities with them

Okay, so it’s not really fair to fill every second of their week with activities and then suddenly thrust them into hours and hours of unstructured free time every day and expect them to know what to do. But it also isn’t your job to entertain them that whole time either. Supervise them, yes; entertain them, no. So, what’s a parent to do? Take some time to brainstorm:

  • Put together a list of all the chores you expect them to do daily.
  • Have them make a list of all the board games and creative activities in your house, and all the things they can do outside (walk the dog, ride a bike or scooter or skateboard, play basketball, etc).
  • Look up some ideas online of age-appropriate activities and hobbies and have them choose some things they are interested in learning.
  • Make a list of Netflix shows and documentaries and on-line activities/games/experiences they can watch.
  • This is also a good place to throw in some of those projects you’d like to work on around the house. Cleaning out closets, sorting through seasonal clothes, catching up on scrapbooks… add these to the list!
  • If just the thought of organizing this overwhelms you, ask an older child, babysitter, or grandparent to come up with some ideas instead. This might be a great way for them to be in contact with your children while they are unable to see them due to the quarantine.

Once you have all this information, build it into your routine. We do chores and schoolwork first, and we include walking the dog, practicing music, and reading for 45 minutes in our chore list. After that, you can either schedule independent time and sibling play time, or structure it around activities- creative time (art, writing, singing, dancing, building), outside time, physical activity time, technology time, etc. Do whatever works best for your family.

If your children are younger, they will need more structure and parental involvement. Once they reach middle school, or even upper-elementary for some kids, you can simply tell them to check their list and choose an activity. Either way, having a list is a fantastic resource and will help you avoid the “I’m bored” scenarios. Our boys have spent the past two days making contraptions in our basement using construction paper, legos, and ping pong balls after watching a few episodes of Dude Perfect. Sshh… don’t tell them they’re actually doing S.T.E.M.!

If all else fails, put on some music and have a dance party! 

Or take a break and watch a movie, go on a hike, or bake some brownies. Have some fun! Life is busy and stressful, and you won’t have always have this time together. Make memories together, and make sure some of them are good.  It’s okay if you’re not a perfect teacher or a perfect parent. Remember that thing about lowering your expectations? Yeah, go back and do that again.

And when you feel overwhelmed or frustrated or weary, take a deep breath and let the Holy Spirit fill you with whatever you need most in that moment. His grace is sufficient, and His power is made perfect in our weakness.

Remember, no one has enough patience to homeschool! But we know the One who gives it. You can do this!

(Feel free to reach out to me personally or in the comments if you have specific questions or need help. We’re all in this together!)

Coronavirus, Toilet Paper, and Slowing Down Time

Friends, we are living in crazy times. Schools are closing in an attempt to contain the coronavirus, fear and cynicism are rampant, and people are hoarding toilet paper… I don’t think any of us ever expected this! 

I have read a lot of different perspectives and comments over the last couple weeks, and the words I’ve been noticing are frustrated, frightened, irritated, unnecessary, confused, and afraid, to name a few. 

The one thing I haven’t heard anyone say is, “I am so thankful for the coronavirus and the quarantine.  I wish time would slow down so we could really enjoy it!”

Nope, I think most people are just ready to get through this uncharted territory and get on with life… 

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I don’t usually choose a “word for the year.” I’m not sure why; it just hasn’t been something I felt compelled to do. 

But this year, a word chose me. 

As I prayed over all the changes and transitions this year would hold for our family, especially with Sarah graduating and going off to college, I found myself dreading the days to come. The years we spent homeschooling have created a strong bond within our family, and the thought of this stage of life (having all my baby birds in the nest) ending just makes me sad. I get teary-eyed even thinking about her last show and last prom and graduation. I never would have dreamed it would be so hard to launch a child into adulthood! How I wished I could rewind the clock or at least just slow down time!

So I poured all these things out to the Lord, all my grief and fears and dreading. And as I sat there lamenting the change of this season, the Lord whispered a word to my heart.

Embrace.

Embrace these moments, I heard Him say. Don’t dread them. Savor them, treasure them, immerse yourself in them. For you are right, they will be gone in the blink of an eye, and you don’t want to miss any of it because you are too wrapped up in your own pity party. Lift up your eyes, open your hands, and receive these little gifts of joy. You can’t make time slow down, but you can slow yourself down enough to embrace it.

Embrace.

That word has changed everything for me this year.

I find myself returning to it again and again. I’m not going to lie- there are still tears in this season of “lasts.” But they are joyful tears, the kind that overflow from a full heart, marking these moments as something to be treasured.

And that word- embrace– it shifts my perspective when I start holding on too tightly. It reminds me that all our days and years and moments are known and numbered by One much greater than me. It enables me to rest in His promises and seize the day, leaving the future in His hands.

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This word, embrace, has been echoing in my mind these past few days as well. 

Obviously, I don’t rejoice in people getting sick or being afraid or missing work. I realize it is a hardship for many, and it has altered everyday life for all of us. People need help with childcare and groceries. Events are being cancelled, and school and worship services are being held online. These are strange days we are living in… I mean, we just delivered a package of toilet paper to some friends, for goodness’ sake! Definitely strange.

Am I really suggesting we should embrace it?

That is exactly what I am suggesting. 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 tells us to “Rejoice always, pray continuously; give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Give thanks in all circumstances, not for them…

Sure, our lives are being disrupted. But in the midst of this strange circumstance, what can you be thankful for? Gratitude is the key to embracing.

For me, I am grateful that, just for a little while, time is slowing down. Our hybrid school has transitioned into a more academic, private school model over the past few years, and while there are advantages to that, I have really missed our homeschooling days. Between school, church, drama, small groups, college ministry, sports, Jeff travelling, and the girls working, it is not very often that all six of us are in the same place for very long. It has become difficult for us to even eat dinner together one day a week! 

And I miss it. 

So, the thought of having all of us under the same roof for a whole week, maybe two, with no outside activities and no place we have to be is like an unexpected gift! As I watch these not-so-little-anymore people growing up before my eyes, I have longed for time to slow down… and now, just for a little while, it has. 

For just a few days, we will sit at the table and do school work together, just like we used to. We will look for opportunities to be generous to those in need and share with our neighbors. We will eat home-cooked meals and play board games and watch movies. There are books on my nightstand and cookies ready to go in the oven. And yes, like any good mom, I have several cleaning projects for us to tackle as well!

On a bigger scale, I am not really sure what the next week or two (or more) will look like, or how this epidemic will ultimately affect our country, our world, and perhaps even our family. The reality is, it is way out of our hands and far beyond our control. Dreading it or resenting it will not help anything; it will only rob us of peace. 

Instead, I choose joy. I choose gratitude. 

I choose to let time slow down, and embrace it.

(And I am happy to bring you some toilet paper if you need it. Just sayin’!)

Putting on my Peace Shoes (and Walking What I Talk)

It never fails.

Have you ever heard the old adage, “Be careful what you pray for, because you might just get it?” Or maybe “Don’t pray for patience or the Lord will put you in situations that require you to use it”?

Well, whenever we are teaching on Biblical truth, you can bet that we will promptly be presented with opportunities that require us to put that truth into practice. 

Yesterday was no exception.

I have been leading my 12th grade girls small group through Priscilla Shirer’s Armor of God Study for teens over the last several weeks (which, btw, I highly recommend!), and this past Sunday we talked about the “shoes of the gospel of peace.” 

We discussed how peace is not the absence of chaos or conflict, but a sense of calm in the midst of it. We mentioned how Paul associated peace with the Roman soldier’s shoes because God’s peace moves with us wherever we go and the spikes help us keep our footing when we are on rocky or slippery ground. This kind of peace isn’t natural to us- it is a fruit of the Holy Spirit living inside us, and has to be accessed. Like shoes, it is something we have to intentionally “put on” each day. 

I had them write down some areas in which they were struggling to feel God’s peace, whether in their mind or heart or relationships. We talked about different things people substitute for the peace we so desperately long for, things that numb or distract us, such as social media or alcohol or relationships. 

We finished our discussion by looking at what the Bible says about how we go about putting on those “Peace Shoes;” how choosing to focus on Jesus and be grateful enables us to access peace in the midst of the crazy circumstances of our lives. They went through each of their areas of unrest and found something in each situation for which they could be grateful- a way they could see God working, the fact that it caused them to depend on His strength, an opportunity in which they could be a Light, and so on.

And then, before we left, we prayed that the Lord would help us intentionally put on the Shoes of Peace this week; that no matter how crazy the chaos around us became, we would choose to be grateful and stand firm in His peace.

Do you see where this is going?

I should have known. The Lord is faithful to always give me the chance to live out the truths I claim to believe when I teach. But more than that, the enemy is not going to let me teach a lesson like that and not use it as an opportunity to make me feel like a hypocrite!  

So, when the bottom dropped out yesterday, I should not have been surprised. 

And yet, I was. 

Jeff and I are in the middle of preparing for multiple major events this week, and just about everything that could possibly go wrong yesterday did. I won’t bore you with all the details- I’m sure you’ve had a day like this before. But we spent all afternoon working through challenges and putting out fires, only to have another one pop up somewhere else!

Let’s just say I wasn’t really feeling a lot of peace when I woke up this morning.

Before I even opened my eyes, I was going over my endless to-do list in my head, and before my feet touched the floor, I already felt defeated. 

Where are you, Lord?  

As the wind and waves of my circumstances swirled around me, I couldn’t even concentrate. How are we supposed to handle this, Lord? What do we do now? How are we possibly going to get everything done? Help me, Lord!

Help me!

An image popped in my mind of Peter standing out there on the water, storm raging around him, arms outstretched towards Jesus. “Lord, help me!” And that’s when I remembered our Peace Shoes from Sunday. 

Peace is not the absence of chaos, but a calmness in the midst of it”… and boy, was I in the midst of it! I wish I could say my first response to the craziness was fixing my eyes on Jesus and finding something to be grateful for, but it wasn’t.

Not even close.

It wasn’t until I was neck-deep in the waves of my chaos that I remembered where to lift my eyes. When I finally looked up, I saw Jesus. And something began to change. 

I remembered that peace doesn’t come naturally to us; we have to choose it. 

So, I took off the fear and frustration that were consuming me and strapped on my “peace shoes” in their place. I reached out to my sweet Small Group girls for prayer. I looked around at our shifting circumstances and then focused on Jesus, my solid Rock.

I thanked God for the opportunity to show my girls that I am willing to live out what I’m teaching them. I thanked Him for answering my prayer, even when the answer didn’t come in the way I wanted. I pried my fingers open and turned my palms up to the Lord, willing to receive whatever He would give. And with each exhale of thanksgiving, I breathed in peace.

His peace. 

The kind of peace that can’t really be explained, that defies all logic. The kind that helps you catch your breath and makes you feel grounded, even when the terrain around you is uneven.  The kind that expands to fill all the crevices which were carved out by the fear and frustration, until it all becomes a little easier to let go of. 

I’ll be honest- it took some effort. My thoughts kept returning to those stressful conversations, while my emotions fluctuated like an EKG. But 2 Corinthians 10:5 says we can demolish the enemy’s strongholds by taking “captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ,” and so I did. 

I visualized Peter, walking on water, keeping his eyes fixed on Jesus while the storm raged around him. I found myself singing an old hymn from my youth, proclaiming in faith, “It is well with my soul.” And I continued to look for reasons to be thankful. 

More peace.

So, I am grateful tonight for the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days we sometimes face, as they provide an opportunity to lean into Jesus. I am grateful for the chance to put legs on my lessons and walk out what I teach, even when it’s hard. I am grateful that a delayed response to my Savior does not disqualify me from receiving all the good things He offers His children. And I am grateful most of all for His unexplainable peace.

Now… what should I teach about next week?

Open Hands

Last weekend, our Student Ministry hosted U-Turn, our annual discipleship weekend. Our theme was “20/20 Vision,” but by the end of the weekend we all left with a different take-away. God’s message was clear- He wants us to approach Him and our crazy, unpredictable lives with a posture of  “open hands.”

Open Hands.

What does it really mean to come to God with open hands?

It means coming to God desiring what He wants more than what we want. Our hands are open to receive whatever He gives, even if it is something we wouldn’t choose.  It requires recognizing that He is God and we are not; His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. But He is good and can be trusted.

This all sounds great, right?

Unfortunately, it is not so easily accomplished. 

Why?  Because our hearts are deceitful. 

We think our hands are open, willing to receive whatever the Lord has to give. Yet, so often when I come to God believing that my hands are open, I am already clutching something else in my grasp. 

“Lord, heal me!” I cry, reaching out in faith for healing. 

“Lord, guide me!” I plead, seeking answers and direction.

“Lord, empower me!” I say, looking for opportunities.

And the whole time, I think my hands are open. I believe He will answer, and I know He is able to give me what I’m asking for. Surely I will receive it, according to my great faith, right?

Only I don’t realize I cannot receive anything because my hands are already full. If I look closely enough, though, I begin to see what fills them up… 

My expectations. 

I am reaching for healing, not the Healer

I am seeking direction, not the Guide.

I am seeking opportunities, not the Source.

I do not recognize Him when He comes because He doesn’t look like what I’m expecting. I do not receive what He has to give because my hands are too full… and yet, still empty.

Now, friends, we come by it honestly. The Bible is filled with people’s stories who were given what they desired and expected because they believed:

  • Hannah prayed in her barrenness and God gave her a son. 
  • Jonah prayed and God rescued him from the belly of a whale. 
  • Elijah prayed and it didn’t rain for three years.
  • Blind men cried out to Jesus and were healed.
  • A bleeding woman was healed by just touching Jesus’ robe. 
  • The servant was healed as a result of the Centurion’s great faith. 

And on and on and on…

Surely all these examples confirm that God rewards those who trust in Him with whatever they are expecting from Him, right? After all, “the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16, NIV).

But, wait. 

Paul was given a “thorn in his flesh” and pleaded with God to take it away, but He didn’t. Instead of fulfilling Paul’s expectation, God told him His power would be made perfect in Paul’s weakness. (2 Cor. 12:9)

When John the Baptist, from prison, had his followers ask Jesus, “Are you the Messiah we have been expecting, or should we keep looking for someone else?” (Mt. 11:3 NLT), Jesus sent them back to John proclaiming all the miracles he was doing as confirmation that He was indeed the Messiah. Yet, John still ended up beheaded at the request of Herod’s stepdaughter. (Matthew 14:3-11)

Probably not quite what he was expecting…

I don’t know about you, but I am not one to question the faith of John the Baptist or the apostle Paul. So, maybe there isn’t a magic formula after all!

Which leads us back to Jesus. If ever there is an example of how we are to approach the Father, it is Jesus. The Son of God could have commanded the heavens to open and the angels to come to His rescue, but He didn’t. He could have zapped the guards and turned the Pharisees into pillars of salt, but He didn’t. He did plead with His Father to let there be another way, though He already knew there wasn’t, since He was part of the plan all along. So what did he do?

He opened His hands.

“Not my will, but Yours be done.”

And there it is. Open Hands. No expectations, no demands, no hidden agendas. Just a surrendering of self and a willingness to receive with gratitude whatever the Father gave.

Which, in this case, turned out to be a far greater gift than we could ever have imagined.

Friend, what do you need to let go of in order to open your hands to Jesus? What hidden expectations are getting in the way of receiving what He desires to give you? What is it you’ve been desiring more than Christ Himself without realizing it?

It has been a week, and I am still asking myself those questions. 

My hands are open, Lord. Thy Will be done.

Reflections of a College Visit

Nearly eighteen years ago, our first baby was born.

A little girl. 

 Today, we walked from building to building, up and down stairs, all around a campus that, in a few months, will be her new home.

How in the world did we get here?

I remember feeling her move around inside me, pressing her tiny feet against my ribs and bouncing my belly with her hiccups. I remember holding her in my arms for the first time- her perfect little fingers, her head full of black hair. I remember how she cried at bedtime until she was five, how she introduced her baby sister as her “best friend” to her preschool class, how she would build a fort during room-time so she would have somewhere fun to read her books.

I remember so much.

And then, somehow I blinked… and suddenly she’s going off to college.

I know she’s ready. And after today, I know this school is the right choice for her. Her face lit up like a marquis when we drove on campus. It is bursting with both opportunity and purpose, just like my girl! 

Her “circles” have been so small in life- not intentionally, that is just how it has worked out. Her school friends, church friends, and drama friends all overlap in the middle of a Venn diagram. There are benefits to this, of course; it creates a small, cozy cocoon in which a caterpillar can transform into something more.

However, she has also felt the emptiness of the blank space in her circles. While small circles can be both safe and comfortable, they can confine you as well, squeezing a little too tightly when you are trying to spread your wings. 

And our girl is ready to spread her wings!

So we spent the weekend exploring her next home. We saw where she will live, eat, study, and learn. I caught glimpses of her future as a group of smiling students hurried past us on their way to class, and in a table of friends laughing as they discussed homework and weekend plans. We started making a list of what she will need to bring for her dorm room and what clothes she will need to buy so she doesn’t freeze. 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jer. 29:11)

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” (Isaiah 30:21)

**********

My girl is ready, there is no doubt. She is following the will of the Lord. What more can a momma ask for? 

Absolutely nothing.

Still…

I sure am going to miss her.

Snow Day

It doesn’t snow often in Georgia, so when it does, everything shuts down and time seems to stand still. These are just my thoughts about our snow day…

Knees curled beneath me

Warm and cozy in my chair

steaming mug beside me

I look outside.

The sky is falling,

fluttering softly in tiny flakes

gently to the ground.

Gradually, it piles up

color fading to white

Hectic lives

slowing to a stop-

Frozen in this moment.

Anxious children

peeking out windows

Finally, a knock!

Drawers fling open,

clothes fly around the room

searching, finding, layering,

bundling, zipping

bustling out the door!

Children laughing, sledding, screaming

balls of packed powder

find their mark

Bottom, middle, top are rolled

then stacked

Sticks and carrots, scarves and hats

bringing them to life.

And still, the sky drifts down

while time remains frozen.

Back inside, wet clothes dripping

piled up by the door.

Warm blankets, snuggles on the couch

mugs of hot chocolate,

the salty smell of popcorn filling the room.

Minds quieting, hearts slowing

in a contented sigh

of peace.

Out the window

the Winter Wonderland

holds its breath,

melting slowly,

quietly

not wanting to disrupt

this gift of time.

Looking around, I soak it in

the peace, the laughter

all of us together.

I freeze it in my memory

as my heart floods

with gratitude

for this frozen moment.