Embracing Transition: 4 Steps to Making the Most of a Milestone

Last weekend, a “corona-month” later than planned, we celebrated Sarah’s high school graduation. She put on her cap and gown, took a bazillion pics with her friends, listened to some fabulous speeches, and FINALLY received her high school diploma.

With the turning of her tassel, she transitioned into a new part of her journey, ready or not!

It sounds cliché to say we blinked and she grew up, but honestly, that is how it feels…

Graduating from high school is such a milestone. It closes the door on one chapter and ushers open another. All eyes are turned to the future, every step leading forward to whatever comes next! 

Our sweet Sarah cannot think about anything now except college. She is focused on what she needs, who she’ll meet, and what she’ll experience. And she should be! She is embarking on a brave new adventure.

The miles stretch out before her, just waiting to be traveled!

***************

This milestone got me thinking about those mile markers along the interstate. I often think of them as telling me how much farther I have to go, but really their purpose is to remind us of where we are and how far we’ve come. That little number on the side of the road is the sum of all the miles we have travelled so far.

Most of the time, I get caught up trying to use that number to determine how many miles I have left on my journey, but when I do that, I miss the whole point!

I forget to celebrate how far I’ve come. I miss out on the landscape of that particular part of the path. And if I’m not careful, I may even end up overlooking an opportunity to take a better route.

4 Steps to embracing transition

Friend, are you partway along a path, in need of a mile marker to give you perspective? Maybe your path is:

  • A weight-loss journey
  • A new adventure, like college or a new job
  • Parenting small children
  • The pursuit of a dream, like running a marathon or writing a book
  • A long-term career goal
  • Finishing a degree
  • Parenting teenagers towards adulthood

Whatever your journey, here are some steps you can take to help you embrace your transitions and make the most of this moment.

Step 1: Reflect on the past

When you find yourself at a mile marker, take time to pause and reflect on how far you’ve come. Most likely there have been some bumps in the road, maybe even some failures along the way. Don’t be afraid of them! What have you learned from your struggles?  How are you better as a result? Are you more focused, more compassionate, more motivated?

And make sure you celebrate your victories, too! The distance you’ve traveled deserves recognition, regardless of how long it has taken or how many times you got sidetracked. A mile is a mile, no matter how you slice it! Pat yourself on the back for your progress.

Step 2: Embrace the moment

Next, look around. Notice the beauty of where you are- the different scenery, the opportunities for growth, the friends who are travelling this path alongside you. Each of these is a gift, and they are not promised for the entire length of your journey, so embrace them now!

Soak up the encouragement.

Learn what you can.

Try something new.

Make some memories.

Reach out with gratitude.

And above all, embrace this moment!

Sure, you still have a long way to go, but none of us is promised tomorrow, so don’t wish away today. You are at this particular mile marker only for a short time, so enjoy it!

Step 3: Adjust your course

Take assessment of where you’ve been and where you’re going. Make sure you’re still headed in the right direction, and make adjustments if necessary. Perhaps you’ve realized there’s a better way to get where you’re going; maybe you got off track, or your destination has changed along the way. This is the time to change course, to alter your direction, to make sure you’re taking the right path.

Here. Now.

At this mile marker.

Don’t waste anymore time going the wrong way or spinning your wheels. We are only on this earth for a little while… make it count!

Step 4: Move forward in hope

When you find yourself at a mile marker, reflect on your progress, embrace the moment, adjust your course, and then MOVE ON. Life is all about the journey, after all! Don’t get complacent, and don’t give into fear or deceptive voices. 

“ ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future.’’ (Jeremiah 29:11)

Live into this truth and move forward with hope and confidence, knowing that you do not journey alone!

This is my advice to Sarah and her friends as they transition into this next stage of life, and it is good advice for the rest of us as well. 

Reflect on the past.

Embrace the moment.

Adjust your course.

And move forward in hope.

My May Book Stack

Friends, the past few weeks have been crazy, to say the least!

There is a lot going on, and it has been difficult to know what to post. Then suddenly I realized I had not yet shared my May book stack with you!

So here it is. 

Monks and Mystics, Volume 2: Chronicles of the Medieval Church 

I bought this series by Mindy and Brandon Withrow many years ago as part of our Church History curriculum when were homeschooling. This is the second book in the series, and it relates the stories of medieval Christians such as Boniface, St. Francis, Thomas Aquinas, and John Wyclif, as well as outlining events like the Crusades, the forming of Universities, and the Councils of the Medieval Church. Since it is written with the intent of making history come alive for older students, I find it is very readable and way less boring than most church history accounts! There were several stories I was not familiar with that were quite encouraging. This is a great book (and series) for anyone wanting to learn about the path of Christianity through the ages or for middle/high schoolers studying Church history.  

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine (Gail Honeyman)

This was such a fun book! It reminded me quite a bit of The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry. It took me a bit to get into it, but I’m so glad I stuck with it! The character development was terrific, and it was thick with British humor. It covered the subject matter brilliantly, and while I had a pretty good idea where the plot was going to end up, it took a few twist and turns getting there. Overall, it was a beautiful tale of not judging a book by its cover, while addressing delicate issues such as depression, loneliness, and friendship in a unique and charming way. (Trigger warning: If you have suffered abuse, this book may not be for you.)

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (Suzanne Collins)

My oldest daughter, Sarah, made a special trip to the store just to surprise me with it because we are both big fans of The Hunger Games series. (Thanks, Boo!) In this prequel to the original book, Collins takes us back to when President Snow is a teenager, living in the Capitol, struggling to survive after losing both parents in the war. He is chosen to be a mentor in the 10th annual Hunger Games and is assigned- you guessed it- the girl from District 12. Y’all, I loved this book! I don’t want to give any spoilers, so I’ll stop there, but Collins does a great job of weaving in so many elements from the original series, which made it an extremely fun read. The climax at the end felt just a little bit rushed (kind of like the end of Mockingjay, in my opinion), but overall, I definitely recommend it to Hunger Games fans!

The Next Right Thing by Emily P. Freeman

This book has been on my list since I joined Hope*Writers a few months ago. The title stems from a poem often quoted by my favorite author, Elisabeth Elliot: “Do the next thing.” Freeman takes it a step further by reminding us that there might be many good choices in front of us, so we need to find the next right thing. While this is a book about making life decisions, I love that it is not a “5 step formula to choosing the right thing” type of book. Instead, each chapter shares a different approach for discerning your next right step. So while they may not all apply to every individual, something will surely apply to everyone! Some of my favorite chapters were Name the Narrative, Look for Arrows, Know what You Want More, Quit something, and Stop Collecting Gurus.

Since the chapters are short, I decided to use it along with my devotional time in the morning, which worked really well. Each chapter ends with a prayer and a “practice” section, which helps the reader apply what they are reading.  There are so many good things I got out of this book, but if I had to pick one quote for how God spoke to me, it would be this one from p. 53:

God often gives a faint vision of things before they ever come to be. It’s not a full form, more of a shadow, not focused or clear… Instead of those black-and-white answers we tend to love so much, what if we began to look for arrows instead?”

Emily P. Freeman, The Next Right Thing

Arrows instead of answers. Yes!! This is a great book to read if you find yourself in a place of transition and need a little help discerning your next right step.

And finally, Where the Crawdads Sing (Delia Owens)

I loved this book, too! It was a good month for fiction reading. J This is the story of Kya, a young girl who is abandoned by her mother and older siblings and eventually by her abusive, alcoholic father, left to fend for herself in the North Carolina marsh. It is a coming of age tale; a beautiful story of abandonment, love, trust, betrayal, and friendship. Oh yeah, and then there’s a murder mystery, just for kicks! Seriously, the world building, character development, and storyline of this book are all top-notch, and the writing itself drew me in from the beginning. My favorite scene is when Kya’s friend, Tate, is teaching her how to read: 

“Slowly, she unraveled each word of the sentence: ‘There are some who can live without wild things, and some who cannot.’”

(He goes on to encourage her that now that she can read, she’ll never not be able to read again, to which she answers:)

It ain’t just that.’ She spoke almost in a whisper. ‘I wasn’t aware that words could hold so much. I didn’t know a sentence could be so full.’”

Delia Owens, Where the Crawdads Sing, p. 135 (Large print edition)

Maybe it’s the writer in me, but that is such simple and beautiful truth.

I definitely recommend this book. It would make a great read for the beach or pool!

Well, friends, those are the books I read in May! Not a bad one among them. Summer is here, and we all have a little extra daylight, which hopefully will include a little extra time to read, too!

What’s on your nightstand or in your beach bag? I’m always looking for suggestions. Feel free to share in the comments!

Moving Forward

Have you ever felt like your world has suddenly stopped and you’re not sure how to move forward?

It’s a bit overwhelming.

My senior year of college, I went through a difficult break-up (I’m talking about a give-back-the-ring kind of break up). I haven’t thought about it in a long time, but back then it pretty much rocked my world. Not only did I have to navigate the logistics of calling off a wedding, as well as all the feelings that come with the end of a serious relationship, but I also found myself suddenly needing to rethink all my future plans. 

I felt like I was drowning- it was hard for me to focus on anything else.

This was a problem, because life continued all around me. My professors didn’t cancel class just because I was going through a break-up. My broken heart did not excuse me from writing papers and taking tests.  I was still expected to show up, to go to work, to fulfill my obligations. 

Life went on, and I was supposed to go on with it, whether I knew how or not.

So, I woke up the next morning, climbed out of bed, and just did the next thing. I didn’t always do it well, and I cried a lot in between, but I did it. I put one foot in front of the other and kept moving forward. 

Step by step.

Over time, moving foward became a little bit easier. I was able to reflect on that relationship and learn from it. I was able to take responsibility for my part in things, and identify ways I needed to grow. I knew what I was looking for and what I needed to avoid. And all the while, I kept moving forward in the other areas of my life as well.

It took a long time before I was able to open myself up to love again. I wanted to, but I was afraid. I was scared of messing things up, of losing a friendship, of losing myself. It was hard, and it was scary. I wasn’t sure how to move forward.

I am so grateful for friends who walked that journey with me. They were so patient with me when I wasn’t sure what I wanted. They encouraged me to take risks and to take my time. They listened as I processed my ping-ponging emotions and spoke wisdom to my wary heart. 

Above all, they loved me well and continually pointed me to Jesus. 

They helped me move forward.

Moving forward didn’t mean I forgot, nor did it mean I didn’t care. It was simply a necessary part of life, so I did it. I didn’t really have a plan; I just figured out my next steps as I went. 

Many of you know this feeling well. Perhaps you have lost a spouse, or parent, or even a child. Maybe you’ve had to let go of a marriage or a dream. Whatever the case, you know what it feels like to hardly be able to breathe, and yet somehow have to find a way to continue moving forward. 

One tiny step at a time.

The past few months, and the last week in particular, have made it difficult for many of us to know how to move forward. 

We don’t want to move on too quickly. 

We don’t want to be insensitive to others.

We don’t want to act like nothing ever happened.

We don’t want to say the wrong thing or not say the right thing.

We want to make a difference, but we’re not sure how.

We find ourselves paralyzed, not sure when or how to move forward.

And yet, life continues on around us. Family and children and work await our attention. For just a little while, the world seemed to hold its breath, but at some point it needs to exhale and start breathing again.

And that’s okay.

It’s okay to move forward. 

You don’t have to forget, and it doesn’t mean you didn’t really care. Your emotions may still be all over the place, or you may be confused about what to do next. It’s okay- in the words of Elisabeth Elliot, “Just do the next thing.” 

The “next thing” looks different for everyone. Some of you may be called to change a diaper while others are called to change the world. 

Whatever you do, do it in love, and it will be a step forward.

The morning after my college break up, I grabbed my Bible from my nightstand. I had been reading through the Psalms, and my Psalm for that day was Psalm 30, which was so timely. This verse in particular instilled in me the strength and hope I needed to move forward:

“Weeping may remain for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” -Psalm 30:5

Joy comes in the morning!

I don’t know about you, but it’s time for me to start moving forward.

I don’t have all the answers, or even a well-thought out plan, but that’s okay. I just need to take a step, and I’ll figure the rest out as I go.