I really thought I would have a huge book stack to show you for April with all this time on my hands, but as often happens, much of that time has been filled in other ways. On top of that, our library has been closed due to COVID restrictions, which means my reading options have been limited to what I have on hand…
So, friends, here is what I’ve been reading this month and some thoughts about each book!
Creativity, Inc. by Ed Catmull, was recommended to me awhile back by my friend, Will, who thought I would love it. He was right! Ed Catmull is the co-founder and retired President of Pixar animation (creators of Toy Story, Incredibles, Up, and more), and his book is filled with tremendous wisdom. While I found myself getting lost in the tech talk at times, the struggle was worth it. This book is especially beneficial to those in the creative arts field, but should be read by CEO’s and moms alike- anyone who manages or is part of a team. His insights on creating an environment conducive to creativity and open discussion, expecting (and even celebrating) failure, and watching for weak areas are just a few of the many takeaways in this book. I highly recommend it!
The Prince Warrior Series by Priscilla Shirer was not on my reading list for this year. However, our youngest son was given the first book for his birthday, and he enjoyed it so much, I ordered the next two for his Easter gift. I have been reading them ahead of him so we can talk about them, and they are great books! They fall in the Christian fiction/fantasy genre for middle readers, and are great for upper elementary through middle school. The story follows a group of middle school boys and girls (and one younger brother) on their journey through a portal into the unseen world of Ahoratos. There they claim their titles as Prince/Princess Warriors and earn various pieces of armor while listening to their Guide and fighting the enemy. These books are full of action and adventure, and will be loved by both boys and girls. Priscilla Shirer also has a children’s Bible Study, “Unseen: The Armor of God for Kids,” and a 365 day “Unseen” devotional, which make great companions to this series.
Four Dead Queens by Astrid Scholte. I just happened to pick this YA fantasy book up from the Library right before it closed, and it was an enjoyable read. The murder mystery plot and intriguing characters drew me in quickly, and the unexpected twist at the end, while a little underdeveloped, was still interesting. The world-building was reminiscent of Divergent, which was kind of fun. As with most YA novels these days, there was a semi-prominent LGBTQ theme, just FYI. Overall, it was a good book, but not one I would necessarily recommend or read again.
Be Still My Soul by Elisabeth Elliot. For those of you who don’t know, Elisabeth Elliot is my all time favorite author. She has mentored and discipled me through her writing since my college days, and her books strongly influence my faith and my writing. This was not my first time reading Be Still My Soul, but it was still just as impactful. This book is about suffering well (she defines suffering simply as “having what you don’t want or wanting what you don’t have”), about accepting our circumstances as within the will of the Father, and allowing them to shape us more and more into His likeness. If you are pursuing a life lived in full surrender to Jesus, this book (and any of Elisabeth Elliot’s books, really) need to be on your nightstand.
Well, that’s what I’ve been reading this month. I’m going to have to order some books if the library doesn’t open back up soon, so let me know if you have any suggestions! What’s on your nightstand?
I went for a walk the other night, right at dusk. It was still light outside when I left my house. The air was warm and the sky was a beautiful, bright blue. As I neared the halfway point, the sun was dropping behind the trees, shining through in glimpses of pink and gold. By the time I returned home, it was not yet dark outside, but the sky was shadowed. It lingered in that place of twilight- no longer day, but not yet night…. somewhere in between.
That is where I find myself today as I write, and where I imagine many of you find yourselves as well.
After a month of social distancing and sheltering in place, the doors are slowly beginning to open and we are all holding our breath.
How is this stepping forward supposed to go? Do we fling open the gates and rush out, arms open wide like Maria in the Sound of Music? Or do we approach it with caution- cracking the door open just a smidge and peeking out, trying to catch a glimpse of what’s out there waiting for us?
To be honest, I am somewhere in between.
I have embraced this time with my family, because I know how fleeting time is and how much I will miss these days. I am grateful for this pause, for this time at home together, especially before our oldest daughter goes off to college. Sure, I have a few regrets, things I wish we had done differently, but overall it has been a gift- one we have opened every day.
Still, I miss my freedom, and I miss my friends. As much as I love my family, a lunch date with my girlfriends has never sounded so good! The chance to laugh, to catch up, to just be together- that would be a gift, too.
And yet, it seems like it’s all happening so fast; a little too much, too soon, maybe. Our communities seem so fragile, as though a gust of wind (or a huff and a puff) might just blow the whole house down.
And then what?
So if I’m honest, I’m feeling a little grateful, a little excited, and a little scared, all at the same time.
That sounds about right for the in between.
I find myself looking back at our life before the Coronavirus pushed the pause button. With a family of six, it’s bound to be busy, but it was too busy. I filled my time with a lot of good things, but over the past few weeks I have realized some of those good things have been crowding out some of the best things. When the restrictions are lifted and the busy-bus revs back to life, there are things I’m looking forward to, but there are also several things I need to let go of, even if it’s hard.
I find myself listening now, in this space in between. Listening to my heart, to my family, and to the Lord. As I experienced on my walk the other night, there is a shifting taking place in my soul. One season is ending, and a new one is beginning. I am on the edge right now of something new God is doing; He is turning my gaze away from the past and out towards the future. I have used this time, this in between, to dig into His Word and listen for His voice. “Behold, I make all things new!” He declares. I am ready.
And I find myself looking forward to whatever lies ahead. Like the Israelites overlooking the Promised Land or the disciples eating breakfast on the beach with the risen Christ, I can’t help wondering what comes next. I don’t know exactly where He is leading, but I know He will lead me and that’s enough. I choose obedience.
What about you, friend? Do you also find yourself somewhere in between?
Let me encourage you to:
LOOK BACK… What should you hold onto and what should you let go of?
LISTEN NOW… What haven’t you missed from the daily rush, and what are you most grateful for in this pause? What is God whispering to your heart?
LOOK FORWARD… What are your next steps? Where do you go from here?
If you let Him, Jesus will meet you somewhere in between.
I know most of us are still at home with our kids as we continue social distancing and “crisis-schooling.” And if your house is anything like mine, you probably have plenty of plastic eggs in a variety of colors littering the floor, counter, and anywhere else they may have landed. What in the world do you do with them now that Easter is over?
Well, one of the things that makes learning so fun in a school classroom is learning centers. These are areas where teachers are able to get creative by taking basic learning concepts and teaching them as a game or activity instead of in worksheet form. When we were homeschooling, I found this was a wonderful way to reinforce concepts we were learning that otherwise felt redundant or boring. Who wants to force their kids to repeat their math facts one more time? But make them into a game and suddenly my kids were begging for more!
So I thought I’d share a few ideas from our homeschooling days of ways you can use those colorful plastic eggs after Easter as part of your “crisis-schooling”- or maybe just to keep the little people in your house busy for awhile. (And if your little people have turned into big people, I have a few ideas for teens, too, so skip to the end!)
Color Sort: Start with mismatched eggs and have children match each top with its correct bottom and tell you the color.
Big A, Little a: Use a sharpie to write an upper case letter (A) on the top and a lower case letter (a) on the bottom of an egg. Repeat with different letters. Use mismatched eggs so they are matching the letters, not the colors. Take the eggs apart and let them match away!
Number Matching: Use a sharpie or stickers to write a number (3) on the bottom of an egg and the appropriate number of dots/marks/etc. (***) on the top of an egg. Mismatched colors are best for this one, too. Take the eggs apart and have them match the numbers with the same number of dots.
Noise Makers: Now, you may not like me much after this one, but little ones love to shake things and make lots of noise, so this is the perfect combination! Fill eggs with different hard items such as rice, beans, sand, cereal, and rocks, and then glue or tape them shut. Have kids try to guess what’s inside them and/or use them as musical instruments!
Activity Egg Hunt: (See below; last item in Elementary)
Easter Egg Math: Write the equation on one half of the egg (4×2=) and the answer on the other (8). Mismatched eggs work best so they are actually doing the math and not just matching colors. This works well with all ages because you can do adding, subtracting, multiplication, division, and even fractions- whatever your child needs to work on!
Easter Egg Word Families: This is a great game for beginning readers. Google a list of simple rhyming words or word families such as “rat, mat, sat, fat” and “sock, rock, lock, clock.” Then use a sharpie to write the ending sound (“at” or “ock”) on the top half of the egg and the beginning sounds (“r, m, s, f” or “s, r, l, cl”) spaced evenly around the bottom half of the egg, so that when the two halves are connected they form a word. Then show your child how to twist the egg to form different words.
Easter Egg Letter Scramble: I wish I had known about this activity when my kids were younger. I found the idea at hangingaroundinprimary.com and it looks so fun! Use Scrabble tiles (or cut out individual letters on squares of paper) to form words, then put all the letters for each word inside an egg. Set a timer and see how quickly your child can unscramble all the words. You can do this with sight words, spelling words, Easter-themed words, etc.
Easter Egg Compound Words: Write two words that form a compound word on each half of an egg (butter fly, rain bow, race car, base ball, fire works, moon light, sun shine, etc) so they will make one word when put together. Mix up the tops and bottoms, and have children attempt to form the correct words (and laugh at the new words they create).
Easter Egg Contractions: Write different contractions on individual slips of paper (won’t, can’t, shouldn’t, hasn’t, she’ll, etc) and then write the two combining words on each half of the egg so they line up together. Have kids locate the correct slip of paper and put it in the corresponding egg.
Activity Egg Hunt: We have done multiple variations of this game and it will keep your littles entertained for days! Write various activities on slips of paper and put them inside the eggs before you hide them. When children find an egg, they open it up and do what it says, then either put the egg in their basket or leave the egg there for others to find (if there’s more than one child hunting eggs). If children are too little to read, they can bring their paper to you or you can put pictures in the eggs instead of words, or even team them up with an older sibling. Activities can range from physical tasks like jumping jacks, sit ups, and shooting baskets, to singing silly songs, telling a joke, or acting like an animal. Check out Aliceandlois.com for a free printable of ideas for younger children. And keep reading for some ideas for the whole family!
Work-out Egg Hunt: If you have been eating a few too many cookies the past few weeks like I have, or if your work-out routine (what’s that? Lol!) is getting a little predictable these days, this might be a fun way to shake it up! Fill each egg with a slip of paper containing different circuit training activities, such as 20 sit ups, 50 jumping jacks, 30 squats, 20 lunges, 20 burpees, etc. and hide the eggs around the house or yard. As you find each egg, open it and do the activity. Leave the eggs for someone else to find and either keep count of the eggs or do as many as you can in 15 minutes.
Photo/Video Egg Hunt: There are lots of ways to be creative with this one, so use your imagination! You can hide the eggs and have your kids take pics of all the eggs they can find in a certain amount of time, or you can fill each egg with a photo or video task, such as “Do a self-timer pic of yourself doing something crazy,” “Make a Tik-Tok (if your kids don’t have tik-tok, they can make a pretend one),” “Do a slow-motion video of yourself doing a trick shot,” or “Video yourself reciting your favorite Bible verse while hanging upside down from the couch.” If your teens are not into social media, try something like “Video yourself shooting 5 baskets in a row,” “Video yourself singing the chorus of a Hamilton song,” or “Make a video reciting the Periodic table” (hey, some kids might find that fun… Mine would rebel!)- fill in the blanks with whatever your kids are interested in. Then look at the photos and videos together afterwards as a family!
Smartphone Clue Hunt: This is a really cool idea I found over at blog.bitsofeverything.com! She has printable bar codes you can cut out and scan which will lead your teens on a clue hunt to different places around your yard. If some of the clues don’t fit at your house, no worries- just leave them out! She also has printable clues in case the technology gives you trouble. Hop on over to her website to find everything you need, and read through the comments for some additional ideas (like adding a golden egg with Chick-fil-a gift cards or how to adapt and make your own barcodes to scan)!
So, that’s just a few ideas to keep your family busy and the eggs off the floor! Feel free to share any other ideas you come up with!
Friends, it finally dawned on our kids last weekend that we would not be able to go to church this Sunday.
“Wait, you mean we’ll be stuck at home on EASTER SUNDAY?? Mom, it won’t be Easter if we’re not at church! That’s never happened before! This is not okay. We have to do something…”
If you know me well, you can imagine how excited I was about seizing this teachable moment. My girls say I have a “small group leader voice” that I use in moments like this… umm, whatever. But if I do, I’m sure I pulled it out for this one!
“Well, guys,” I said (probably in my SGL voice), “that’s not exactly true. What are we really celebrating on Easter? Think back to what happened that first Easter morning…”
Where do we find the disciples? (hint: They weren’t at the temple, where they?)
Where do we find Mary? (hint again: Sshh! She wasn’t at the temple either.)
And where do we find Jesus?(okay, so they got the point!)
The reality is we have never had a better opportunity to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus more authentically than this year. After all, the first Easter happened outside in a garden and inside a living room and wherever else people happened to be when they heard the good news. The life-changing news.
“I have seen the Lord!”
Do you remember what it was like the first time you saw the Lord?
I mean, when you truly realized what Jesus had done for you- that He loved you enough to die for you, suffered unspeakable pain and loss for you- and not because you and I were worthy, but because we are worth it to Him?
I was a teenager when someone shared with me that I wasn’t here by accident; that God created me and loved me and had a purpose for my life. For the first time I began to understand how much Jesus willingly went through for me and what it cost Him. It still overwhelms me to think anyone could love me that much!
And then I found out the rest of the story…He is alive! He rose from the dead, appeared to a bunch of people, and went up to heaven, leaving His Holy Spirit here to live within us and guide us. Wow.
He didn’t just love us in the past, but He loves us now, and He wants to love us forever!
That’s pretty good news! And it changed me.
Friends, have you seen the Lord? I mean, really seen Him? Have you seen Him working in your life, changing your heart, guiding you in wisdom, transforming your perspective, bringing beauty from ashes? When you do, it changes everything.
He changes everything.
So this Easter, as we gather in our homes with our children, let’s make the most of this opportunity to tell them the Good news. Let’s not just read them a story from a Book (although we should!), but also share the truth of a God who is alive today, who loves them unconditionally and is active in their life. Let’s help them connect the dots between His story and their story, so they too can tell others, “ I have seen the Lord!”
In case you’re looking for some ideas, here are a few things the Heath Fam is planning to do over the next few days to celebrate Easter and Holy Week at home:
(Btw, you should know I always have A LOT of ideas… and we usually only do about 20% of them! But I figure 20% is better than 0%, right? #winning)
Talk about what was important enough for Jesus to do and say in His last week of life.
Thursday morning:Read/discuss how Jesus washed the disciples feet (John 13:3-17) and think of ways our family can serve others, then do it- make cards, give to the Food Pantry, etc.
Thursday evening: Remember why they were celebrating Passover Feast (read about Moses and the plagues from a Children’s Bible or watch The Prince of Egypt) and make the connection between Passover & Easter, then read Mark 14:12-26 and take Holy Communion together. Maybe take the kids outside to pray, as Jesus did, for God’s Will to be done here on earth, even when it comes at great cost to us.
Friday evening:Recount the events following the Last Supper leading up to Jesus’ death. Maybe watch a reenactment from a Jesus movie? We are hoping to do an informal Good Friday service with our kids using readings from the events preceding the crucifixion and Jesus’ last words from the cross. If we do, I’ll try to video it and share it on Facebook in case it’s helpful to some of you. *Editing to add a link to an on-line Good Friday Service with Chris Tomlin and Max Lucado!
Saturday: Discuss how sometimes God is silent and it feels like He’s not working, but it’s only because we can’t see what is happening behind the scenes…
Sunday: Time to celebrate!! Lots of ideas:
Wake the kids up with some jammin’ praise music!
Read about that first Easter morning when Jesus appeared to His friends.
Worship online with our church family (First Redeemer) and… possibly have a cul-de-sac worship service with everyone in their own driveways.
For littles, use Resurrection Eggs or make resurrection rolls.
Your celebration can be simple or extravagant; do whatever works for your family. And feel free to share more ideas in the comments! But don’t miss this opportunity to celebrate Easter like never before. Oh wait…
CONGRATULATIONS!! If you’ve made it this far, you deserve a milkshake or something! The posts in this series have been quite a bit longer than I usually write, but the information on this topic is just so important, I couldn’t figure out how to shorten it. So thanks for sticking with me! Hopefully, you have found it helpful.
If you are just joining us, this is the last in a three part series on Parenting Teens in a Virtual World. Click HERE to read Part 1 and HERE to read Part 2. This post will make a lot more sense once you have all that information!
Today we’re going to talk about what to include in a teen technology contract. But first, I want to give you three reasons WHY creating and signing a technology contract with your teen is so important.
First, it makes your family expectations clear up front. It’s hard to argue with something you signed.
Second, it makes the consequences clear so they don’t have to be negotiated in the heat of the battle.
And third, it gives you and your teen some accountability to help you both stick to your guidelines.
So now that we all agree on why we want a technology contract, where do we start?
If you have used the first two parts of this series as conversation starters with your teens, you should have a pretty good idea by now of which boundaries are important to you and what guidelines you want to set in place.
Just to recap, here are a few things for you to consider:
Approval before making new accounts
Parent phone checks and sharing passwords
A family charging station
“Turn in/Off-line” times
What they may not view or post (bullying, profanity, porn, pics of others without permission)
What they may view and post (“Anything your mom, nana, and pastor would approve of”)
Social Media breaks (both scheduled and spontaneous)
Technology-free zones (ie. No tech in bedrooms, Face-time only in family rooms, etc)
What to do when you receive unkind, unwanted, or inappropriate messages
Video game restrictions- ratings, content, private chats, time limits
Deleting texts, screenshots, etc.
CONSIDER YOUR FAMILY VALUES
Your guidelines should be based on your family values. For instance, our girls are not allowed to post a photo of themselves in a swimsuit unless they clear it with us first. Obviously, this is not a rule most families have, but we feel very strongly about teaching our girls to see themselves as more than just the sum of their “parts,” and this is one of the ways we enforce that value. They also agree to only Face-time with boys in family spaces and not in their bedrooms, which we hope will help them learn to set boundaries in their relationships. You certainly don’t need to copy our guidelines! But I encourage you to create a contract that enforces the values you have spent so many years investing in your kids.
KNOW YOUR TEEN
Know which areas will pose the greatest temptation to your teen and which dangers put them most at risk. Use your contract to provide some accountability and protection for them. Take your responsibilities as their parent to heart; set your boundaries and guidelines accordingly and commit to enforcing them so they know they can count on you.
DISCUSS APPROPRIATE CONSEQUENCES
No matter how awesome your teen is, there is a good possibility they will break the contract at some point. Don’t freak out- just expect it… and then if they don’t, you’ll be pleasantly surprised! In the meantime, discuss appropriate consequences for various guidelines and include them in your contract. That way, when it comes up, the consequence is easier (okay, less difficult) to enforce because they already agreed to it.
REEVALUATE THE CONTRACT OVER TIME
As your kids get older, they will have either proven themselves trustworthy or untrustworthy. Either case will likely require some adapting of your contract. If they consistently represent themselves well, treat others kindly, and maintain healthy time (and place) restrictions, you may want to honor them by changing or being more flexible with some of your guidelines. Likewise, if they are continually disregarding time limits or other boundaries, you may need to revise the contract with clearer expectations or more effective consequences. Whatever you do, don’t be like us… we have gradually relaxed our boundaries without ever revisiting our contract and are now finding it difficult to enforce anything because we don’t remember what the contract says!
If you have not talked with your teen (guy or girl) about pornography, do not put a device in their hands until you do. I cannot emphasize this enough!! Your kids WILL see things, hear things, stumble across things, and likely even search for things at some point. It is not a question of IF but WHEN. And once they see it, it will call to them- forbidden things usually do.
Once you’ve covered the basics and opened the door to conversation, here’s the bottom line you want to communicate: Don’t view it and tell someone if you do. This is super important!! Bad things grow in the dark… your teen needs to feel safe bringing it into the light. They need to know they will NOT get in trouble if they tell you, it is normal to be curious (even about same gender), and they will likely be tempted to do it again. They will need an accountability partner and you want it to be you, or someone you trust.
I love how Scarymommy.com addresses it in her teen contract:
“I agree not to view pornography. I understand that sex is a wonderful and healthy part of an adult life, but that pornography is a different thing than sex, and not healthy for a young person (NOTE: I would delete the phrase ‘for a young person’). I understand that I cannot control the images I see once I start looking at a pornography page or video, and those images will never leave my brain, and that can be harmful to my emotional and spiritual health. I agree that if I accidentally stumble across pornography or a friend shows it to me, I will stop watching (NOTE: I would add ‘and tell one of my parents’). I understand that pornography is a complicated reality and that many of the young women and men in the videos that pop up online are hurting and being treated badly. It’s natural to be curious” (but I agree to do what Iknow is right instead of what I feel like doing.)
Just FYI, I stopped there because she goes on to say that they can make their own choice about viewing pornography when they are a young adult, and I strongly advise against including that. After more than 25 years in ministry of various kinds, Jeff and I have seen way too many lives and marriages damaged and destroyed by pornography addictions. I do not believe it is healthy, respectful, or beneficial to anyone, male or female, young or old. It is harmful to those who are involved in making it, those who watch it, and those in relationships with them.
Moving on, here are some sample contracts to give you ideas:
This one by yourmomhasablog.com really focuses on the teen’s heart and relationship with Christ. I love how she includes Scripture to go along with each of the guidelines, and that she calls it an “agreement” versus a contract. Whatever you decide, it is wise to have each point start with “I agree…”
This contract by commonsensemedia.org is more generic, but also covers some areas that aren’t mentioned in the others.
Hopefully, this will help you develop your own contract or agreement with your teen and enable you to better navigate this journey into the digital world with them. There is some scary stuff out there, but we don’t have to be afraid! As I mentioned in part two, our best weapon against the enemy is prayer.
Social media and technology offer a great opportunity for our teens to grow in the areas of kindness, respect, purity, character, integrity, forgiveness, and boldness, among other things. Let’s agree to walk this journey with them- prayerfully, consistently, and with wisdom- and trust the Lord to direct their paths.
**If this series has been helpful to you or created good conversations in your family, will you please share that with me, either in the comments or in a private message? I’d love to hear about it! Thanks for stopping by!
It is the year 2020. The coronavirus has taken over the world.
School is cancelled. Church is cancelled. Birthday parties and weddings and doctor appointments- all cancelled.
You know what isn’t cancelled?
Science Fair Projects.
Yep, some of you are out there scrounging for toilet paper, but not us! No, the Heath Fam is over here scrounging up construction paper and taping together poster board. While you are loading your cart with chicken breasts and Clorox wipes, ours is filled with an assortment of baby foods, citrus fruits, jellybeans, spinach leaves, and baking soda.
Did you send your husband to the hardware store to buy materials for all the home improvement projects you plan to do while you’re under quarantine? Awesome! I sent mine there, too- to purchase three varieties of light bulbs in order to simulate the process of photosynthesis on the above mentioned spinach leaves.
And you want to make masks for the doctors and nurses at your local hospital? I love that idea! Bless you. Hey, when you stop by JoAnn’s to pick up your fabric, would you mind grabbing me some markers and tape and a bandana we can use for a blindfold? (The display board is worth 30 points after all!)
Oh, I saw that sweet video you posted of your daughter’s sidewalk art and your son’s new song! Did he really teach himself to play the guitar in 3 days from a YouTube video? What a gift to have enough free time to be creative.
We have actually spent a lot of free time being creative around here, too! It only took us two hours to design an “easel” that could hold the appropriate sized tri-fold board in proper view of the computer for a Zoom presentation. The lighting was a little trickier, but hey- what a great opportunity to learn a new life skill! And on top of that, I have a wholeslew of innovative new words to describe my feelings about the Science Fair! But I probably shouldn’t share those here…
So, friends, you go ahead and enjoy binge-watching on Netflix and making creative meals out of your freezer. Be sure to practice “social distancing” with your neighbors and enjoy the great outdoors. Get take-out from a local restaurant and plan a family game night; make the most of this time, for sure!
Don’t mind us.
We’ll just be over here working on our Science Fair Projects.
(Now, y’all don’t go hating on our teachers or our school… we love them and really do understand their decision to continue on with the Science Fair projects! I just personally happen to HATE the Science Fair, and couldn’t miss the opportunity to seize the irony that out of all the things that have been cancelled, THIS could not be one of them! LOL! Oh well, such is life. We are finished, actually; and we have had plenty of time for family game nights and baking cookies along the way, I promise!)